the sun of each day
tightens the rope around my neck
and I, I have to confess
that i have been bathed in cowardice and that all that I know is weakness
and say out loud for the
leaves to listen, that I am unworthy
hey,
how do the gallows sound
for dinner ?
we are not to be hanged, do
not fret dear,
we have the luxury of new
age powder.
Only now I realise I have
been ashamed of my skin for all time, and all the pretentious sentences and all
the wasted brain cells have been a comfortable bittersweet nothing. My masked expressions
and careful words shall always care to protect me even though now I really
shouldn’t step aside.
Fire, the dammed know their
essence.
The most unfaithful of all
tears can come whenever they may; I see no reason in searching for the right
words anymore.
late yellow sunday midday
i enjoy closing my windows for you, letting only the presistant light threads of yours to touch me
i cannot lose my darkness
i am far too unwilling
and i can't i can't ever see all the sundays and all afternoons
i ramble, and i shiver, but it doesn't ever show,
nothing ever really comes out of my mouth lately and i shouldn't ever doubt my choices of expression
for trully the shadow in her eyes when i tell her that we will die is so frightfull
and i mustn't look away, the shadows are my own, in all eyes, i create
and then ,thus, i conquer,
with terrible words and cold eyes of mine, all their thoughts and sighs,
i am
i am poison,
i know that now,
but i shall flow for those in the fate to hold the needle with the silver dark water
and i shall be cancer, and a high revelation
for all who invite me in, for i am evil but i
i know the right words and i
i am the kindest you have trully ever met
but now you will know, yes you will know too,
all is a little darkness, and when i see it, i draw it out, grow it,
one day we all shall revel in all that is pain,
and we will fear the death of misery and i
i will know then for sure,
that i shouldn't ever have been.
twenty minutes ,or so, ago my big brother turned 20.
20 years in this earth is 7.300 days. that's 175.200 hours and so many countless minutes.
see, i do believe in magic.
and i believe in love like every girl in every comedy film ends up doing.
i believe in the magnificence of this world. in the magnificence in each one of us.
and every time i think about the people that i hold dear in my heart, i cry. i can't really help it. that's why i can't even mouth the words "i love you" out loud. i will fold like a piece of paper and will not stop crying for hours. love is pain.yes.i am doing all the cliches and breaking all my rules to forever be dark and gloomy and always painfully aware and saddened by all the misfortunes and vices of this world.
when pure blood is shed, and smiles stolen, the trees always remain as green as ever to remind us that we have to fight, we have to drain the poison out of our minds and out of our hearts and exorcise hate and sorrow with love and compassion.
too cheesy?
we are not carefully chosen words. we are not kind 'hallos' and 'goodbyes'. we are not polite small talk and distanced embraces.
we are not supposed to be cold.
and no one should ever be left alone.
we are a tiny little planet lost in the most brilliant and beautiful vastness of an even smaller galaxy when seen in a bigger scale, that fits 7 billion people. 7 billion.
we cannot be controlled inside borders, enstranged from people beacause they don't talk the same way I or you do.
we all dance, cry, laugh, kiss, touch, hurt, love and die the exact same way.
we should live the same way. we should live together.
