olive oil (olea europaea), beeswax (cera alba), cocoa butter (theobroma cocoa), lavender oil (lavendula angustifolia tocopherol), sunflower oil (helianthus annuus)and rosemary extract (rosmarinus officinalis)

this is the best smell in the whole wide world.
it is the serenests of sensory experiences for the brain. one more lingering whiff than you would normally take in and you get immediately high on it. not literally. but, well, might as well be literal. if whatever we experience in our head isn't real then what is?

for me, this is freedom, it is life and friendship, ancient art and hot days and breezy nights. it is every hour you ever wished could last longer, every touch that has ever irritated the pores on your skin, every feeling urging you to close your eyes and reject all distractions, and let it consume you.

it is anticipation and restlesness, the kind that doesn't let you sleep for four days in a row, the kind that comes tied along with lust.
and everything, oh god, everything is in our hands and we can only be really alive the times we chose to.

now i am not, i am just recollecting my pieces and i am overdue.
but i didn't think i could feel like this in a second five hundred miles away with nothing left from that life but memories and photos i can't find space for in my room.
all senses are so powerful after all, and we are just wasting them sitting idly in airconditioned rooms with white screens in front of us.

filth is better. stink is better. sweat and sticky blood is better.
hair out of order, arms thrown about, and all in a whirlwind because anyway that's were we end up, might as well dive in it. right in. right in.


i don't think i will ever be trully content with what i do. thinking about something is much more enjoyable than doing it. that's the problem. i have no resources to actually leap from imagination to practise. imagination is the land of the free, slaves only to their own nature. the home of only those willing to part completely from this world and be the masters of their own universe, because those two, when silmutaneously existing, collide. and they dissipate. and you are left with nothing.

so, yes, you do have a choice, and a very sensible one. be schizophrenic of some sort or be 'normal'.
seriously. chose. either way you lose everything you've known.