hardcore will never die, but you will

 water and mist and brain cells and all me,
thus all melts into my thoughts and strained recollection


whisper to me the pulse that breathes your life ,
and say,
say that we are
are the only ones that ever trully existed


as everything that we bled and healed for is all and all that is in our history,
the cruel battles against nothing that always did generously gift us with scars and broken bones
the nightmares the noises in the dark that always shall force my ears to the edge, to hear more,
to know everything


everything, all and nothing, you know, are my most favourite words,
I just see only the point in what is fairly dangerous
dare and say, always always and always, again, and never, never, never, always.

reach out and count to seven, wager , will your hand ever manage to reach mine?


arrhythmia is a word of my ancestors, see , now it suits me,
my heart is disagreeable and rebelious, the blood-greedy living cloth that shapes the purest of flesh
with every delayed gasp it reprimands my chest to elevate more quietly and it beggs for me not to drain her,
protesting for all the lessons that I never learned 
and all the times I held with steady hands my head well below the surface 



the water, the blue, and the heavenly, that cannot have a colour, the transparent ,that refuses to hide our skin, the deep, the deep,


sweat and semen and tears, the restless days that harbor full hours.
we shall never call each other by name, we are unearthly anyway


i wish my life is always painful


the storms, the holly heavy raindrops, the bandages and the blood,
seas of stallions and flowers, dancing in all nature,
inviting me in.

calling, singing, with the most heartbreaking of voices, howls and smoke white or ebony eyes that look like smugged brain-piercing flickers, plastic portable spotlights fixed at me, lost so long but just found from the ones meant to save me.
the ones that I dug out the ground, the mud that seperates me from my true words, from my honest decisions.

the last words are always the emptiest or I am too undecided when it comes to my answers